Lyle Leslie Jackson

Before the details start slipping away I better write down Lyle's birth story.

My original plan for Lyle's birth was to go au natural. For no other reason than to say that I did it. I admire people who go natural. That's some serious hard and painful work. So I asked my friend Shelly who is a doula if she would help on this journey.

I was due Nov 28, 2014 and my 40 weeks came and went. This kid was content in there. At 39 weeks I fell down my stairs while taking a box to the storage room (I know smart, right?). We went to the hospital as a precaution and the fall didn't even so much as raise my blood pressure. We did a non-stress test and all was well. They sent me on my way home.

My doctor and I decided on a 41 week induction. There was no way I could have made it to 42 weeks. I was huge and miserable and suffering from symphysis pubic dysfunction since about week 16. My pubic bone had spread too much. This caused my pelvis to actually "pop" out of place and it hurt to walk, lay in bed, etc… at 36 weeks I caught bronchitis and when I coughed I could actually feel my pelvis moving. Popping in and out, it sucked.

Saturday Dec 6, 2014 was the day my induction was scheduled. My doctor, Dr. Parrett is amazing. She knew how much I wanted to have a natural birth and was so supportive of my decision even though we both thought an induction would be best.

I wasn't having so much as a contraction that day. We went in at 7:00am for them to start me on pitocin (the lowest dose possible) to see if my body would react. It started contractions but unfortunately nothing  worth having a baby over. Shelly showed up and we began dancing in my hospital room. We danced to Eminem, Taylor Swift and Meagan Trainor. And yet my contractions were nothing to write home about.

At 11:00 am Dr. Parrett came in to break my water. I was terrified to have my water broken for some reason it freaked me out. Luckily it wasn't bad at all. Afterward we started walking around the hospital and exploring every patient care room I could find. I snuck Lorna Doons out of the cabinets and would eat them in the empty hall ways.  Around 12:00 pm my nurse Andria asked me what i wanted to do. I could wait it out a little more and see if the pitocin they had given me would start working or they could up my pitocin again. I knew that my body wasn't going to do this on it's own. And I just wanted this little boy to get here. So i opted to have more pitocin. Figuring this was going to be it I sent Troy to go get some food. So Andria got me hooked back up to the IV and ran more pitocin. Finally my contractions started and boy did they ever! Shelly got me on the ball and rubbed my back with some oil. At this point they were strong but manageable. Once Troy got back from lunch they had really picked up. Also, can i interrupt to say that having a contraction when you need to go to the bathroom is miserable? A toilet is not my ideal place to be in incredible pain.

My contractions were about 3 min apart and felt like they lasted forever. Once my body took over and I no longer needed the pitocin my contractions seemed like they never stopped. The pain would peak and then ease up a bit but it never felt like I got a break. After 3 hours of pretty intense contractions that only seemed to be getting worse and absolutely zero change in my cervix… I waived the white flag and opted for the epidural. It wasn't an easy decision for me. In fact I cried when I told the nurse. I felt like I had let myself down but the pain was too much to bear. I don't know how people do it.

After the epidural I sent Shelly to get lunch and then my nurse Andria said she would wait about 20 min before inserting my catheter. By the time Andria came in to my room I could feel pressure in my butt. I remember telling Troy I felt like I just wanted to push this kid out, but since it hadn't been very long since they checked me to tell me that I was still at 4 I didn't think that baby was ready to come out. I told Andria the pressure. She inserted my catheter and then checked my cervix. I still remember our conversation after she checked me
"Well that's because his head is right here and you are at a 10!"
"Seriously????"

Andria paged Dr. Parrett and within 15 min or so I was prepped to start pushing.  I still remember how hard I pushed. I thought my eyes were going to burst from their sockets. I did not want to push for 2.5 hours like I had with Izzie. This wonderful little boy was out in about 5 or 6 pushes.

He came out and was perfect. No weird cone shaped head. He cried immediately and I breathed a sigh of relief. (Izzie went in to shock after birth and we had a very scary few minutes immediately after she was born trying to get her to breathe).

8 lbs 8oz
20 in

perfect kid.

His APGARS were near perfect. Our pediatrician was impressed! He lost nearly a pound of weight in the two days we were at the hospital. He got down to 7 lbs 9oz. So he had to go in to be weighed at 4 days old. He had gained about 2 oz so we were on the right track. And after making sure I nursed and nursed AND NURSED at his 2 week appointment he made his way to 9 lbs 3 oz.

honestly he is perfect. and i love to snuggle him. He is just who are family needed.

And those of you wondering about his name…

Lyle is after Troy's grandpa
Leslie is a huge family named for me. My great grandpa Franklin Leslie, my grandpa Leslie Franklin, my dad Kevin Leslie and me Leslie Ann… obviously :)

Catch up from April 2013 to now.

My last post was over a year ago. And A LOT has happened in the last 18 months. I told myself that I was going to start a journal and that never happened. So in this rare moment of free time I have, I'm going to update you all but mostly journal for myself. This post could be long maybe not. We'll see how much i feel like typing… you've been warned.

The months between April - November were pretty uneventful. Other than I decided I needed a new job. I'd worked at the rec center for TEN YEARS and I needed a change of scenery. There was far too much catty-ness (is that a word?) and cliques and I was basically miserable. So I started job hunting. I basically had zero luck even landing an interview anywhere and was pretty discouraged. I decided to get my CNA because it always seemed I like there were open CNA jobs. So by the end of September I got my CNA. Then in October I had 3 job interviews and which got me 3 job offers all within about a week two of which were CNA positions. I ended up accepting the position that was non-CNA related. I started the beginning of November. I now work for CompHealth which is a staffing company for physicians. My title is assignment coordinator. Which is basically like an administrative assistant but with more unusual duties. It's good, I like it. It pays well and has nice benefits.

Being a full time working mom is probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I feel like I never get a break. I wake up every morning at 5:40 and have to get myself and izzie and ready and out the door by 6:45am. If izzie doesn't sleep well for some reason during the night it doesn't matter, I still have to work in the morning. Then I come home to my "second" job. My mom life. I know a lot of my friends tell me that at least I get a break from kids. Which is true. I do get a lot of adult time which is nice. But my job role is basically a babysitter to full grown men. I spend most of my day nagging adults to do their job. I come home make dinner and try to get house stuff done and spend time with my family all between the hours of 6:00 PM to 8:30 PM when bed time starts and I spend the next two hours constantly putting izzie back in bed because she has decided bed time is overrated. Most nights she doesn't go to bed until 11:00 PM. Don't get me wrong Troy is home too and he helps, it's just different. Being a working mom is not easy. Neither is being a stay at home mom. You just can't win guys, you just can't win.

In December, my life changed in so many ways. Since we finally had decent health insurance and Obamacare starting paying for yearly physicals, I told Troy it was time for his physical. He hadn't had one since before his LDS mission and he was now 28 years old. He was due. I didn't think anything of it. I'm just one of those people who think it's important to see the doctor every year. Troy is active and young and I was sure he was fine.

Troy went to the doctor and my whole life changed.

While at the doctor, Dr. Williams (who is the ABSOLUTE BEST DOCTOR IN THE WHOLE WORLD) heard a heart murmur and after asking Troy some questions thought it would be a good idea to do a quick in office EKG. Dr. Williams didn't feel comfortable with what he saw so he referred Troy to a cardiologist. After hearing all of this, I was definitely scared but told myself it would probably be nothing. Except I'm a worry wart so I kept thinking of all the terrible things it could be. Troy couldn't get in to see the cardiologist until January so we had a good blissful month of denial before my world stopped.

I went with Troy to the cardiologist. They told us Troy would have an echocardiogram done and a stress test. The echo was only supposed to take 15 minutes and then he would move on to the stress test. We both sat there chatting with the tech for a bit while she looked at his heart. Slowly I realized it had been over 40 minutes and the tech was getting less chatty. When she finally she told me that Troy wouldn't be doing the stress test and that the doctor had all he needed. And would meet with us shortly. That's when I knew things weren't looking good. And my stress level went from medium to high alert. We had a nurse come in, and a P.A. who both asked us questions and listened to troy's heart but didn't really say anything else to us. Everyone was so serious and every time someone left Troy and I would say to each other "There's something wrong. Why won't anyone tell us anything?"

Finally, the doctor came in and told us what we were thinking. There was something wrong with Troy's heart. He wouldn't give us an official diagnosis as the condition he thought Troy had wasn't his specialty so he wanted to send the echo to someone else to have them look at it. He also wanted Troy to have an MRI done. However, in the mean time he pretty much told Troy no strenuous activity as it could possibly lead to cardiac death. We left the office feeling pretty confused. No diagnosis. He might have something. He might die. AWESOME.

Troy scheduled the MRI but couldn't get in for a couple weeks. Another stressful yet blissful period of denial (I'm REALLY good at denial). After the MRI we patiently waited for results. We were told results would take about 5 days. On day two, Troy called me at work to tell me he just received a call from The Heart Failure Clinic at Intermountain Medical Center. They didn't tell him much-- I think he was in too much shock to ask any questions anyway. I told him he needed to call the cardiologist right away and find out his diagnosis. Troy called and the doctor confirmed Troy had Hypertrophic Obstructive Cardiomyopathy.   There are two variations of the condition and Troy has the obstructive variation. If you read the link on Web Md it actually doesn't sound that scary but it's a pretty scary disease. Most people with HCM/ HOCM don't know they have it until its too late. Here's another article you can read about various young athlete's who have died from it. Basically Troy's left ventricle is too thick. His is actually 4 times bigger than it is supposed to be. Which is really really not good. It makes it hard for his heart to pump blood correctly and the electrical signals get all mixed up.

The day Troy called me to tell me the Heart Failure clinic called my world literally felt like it stopped. The one and only journal entry I have in my actual journal is from that day. I remember I kept thinking, I wish I could go back to yesterday when none of this was real. It was a really hard time for me. I spent most mornings and most evenings crying in my car to and from my way to work. I wanted to be strong for Troy so I only let myself cry when I was alone.

Later on in the process we learned Troy would need an internal defibrillator placed.  It's just like one of those giant machines doctors use to shock your heart and yell "clear!" but much smaller and inside your body all of the time. It's kind of like pacemaker but his doesn't have pacemaking capabilities. It's only there if Troy's heart goes in to a dangerous rhythm ready to shock him back to life. Troy had that surgery on July 18th of this year. I was terrified. But he pulled through like a champ. I know it was really hard for him and did a small number on his pride. He will forever have this device in his chest. You can see the bulge on his rib cage just under his left arm if he isn't wearing his shirt. I'm so impressed with his courage through out this whole ordeal. It's been the craziest 10 months of my life.

In April (April Fools Day to be exact) we found out we were expecting baby #2. It wasn't a surprise but also wasn't exactly planned. I had been having bad reactions to birth control ever since I had Izzie. I had been off birth control for over a year so we knew getting pregnant was possible but we just tried to be careful. We were both pleasantly surprised that it took so long to get pregnant though since Izzie was a complete accident (we still love you Monkey!).

This pregnancy has been so different than with Izzie. I hadn't had a period in over 3 months (my body was seriously messed up, looking back it was probably just stress) I took a pregnancy test about once a month just to be sure I wasn't pregnant but since i hadn't had a period in so long I didn't really think I was pregnant.

One day while sitting at my desk I had the sudden urge to throw up. I thankfully didn't barf but thought it was kind of strange. Izzie ended up getting the 24 hour flu the next day so I thought maybe I just had the flu. But when my nausea didn't go away after a couple days… I decided to take a test. Sure enough I was pregnant.

I had no idea how far along I was since I hadn't had a period in over 3 months. I was hoping to be much further a long in my pregnancy. However when we got in to the see the doctor I only measured at 8 weeks. Which means I was about 5 weeks along when I found out. I basically spent weeks 5-14 with constant nausea but little actual throwing up. Which was nice not barfing as much but this time around the nausea never went away. It was always there. Up until about week 20 anything sweet made me sick which in a way was kind of great. However now… at week 28 all I want to eat is chocolate ALL THE DAY LONG and I usually don't deny myself. I'm going to be HUGE. This time my skin is clear and I have zero back acne. However, my pelvis constantly pops out of place and its really really really painful to walk or stand  or lay down. The only time it pops back in place is completely on accident and i get a few nice hours of less discomfort.

We found out we are having a boy! And we are really excited! We are due around Thanksgiving of this year. Any and all boy hand me downs are completely appreciated ;)

Well that's as much as I feel like typing tonight. If you made it this far… congrats. Pat yourself on the back. Or scratch your eyes out. Either is fine with me.

Let's be real

Let's be real here...

1. I hate Dick's Market in Bountiful. I used to love it but now that they've gone and re arranged everything and basically flip flopped the store and made it look like Albertson's which I HATED. The store closed for obvious reasons! Why are you trying to re-create it? I have to admit that I do like that they have self check out now. Because let's be honest I only run over there when I need to grab a couple things from the store. I do all my "real" shopping at Smiths Marketplace.

2. I'm getting fat. And for no other reason than me and my couch have become like BFF.

3. I can never EVER remember how to hard boil eggs. I have to google it every time. Every. Time.

4. I chose the worlds most worthless degree. I mean seriously worthless. Ok it might be like one step above an art history major, but not by much.

5. Is it ok that I am almost 26 and still have zero idea what I want to do in life?

6. Here are all the the jobs I wish I could do in life

• pharmacy technician (pharmacists have way too much responsibility, no thank you)
• Nurse
• ASL interpreter
• personal trainer (i'd have to stop getting fat)
• wedding planner
• professional cater (which of course would be run out of my house in my gourmet kitchen)
• web designer
• children's book author
• school guidance counselor

7.  Mindy Kaling is my ultimate celebrity role model. Do you know much about her? She is amazing. She is smart, funny, crazy talented. She's a writer, director, producer, actor, author, and Ivy league grad. Have you watched The Mindy Project on Fox? HILARIOUS. You need to watch it. I might have a bit of a girl crush on her. She is amaze-balls.

8. Dang right I just said amaze-balls.

9. This youtube video makes me laugh every time

10. I'm obsessed with this Miranda Lambert's new song Mama's Broken Heart and the video is pretty great too! About 1000 of it's views are from me.

I never know how to end these kind of posts.

soo...bye!

Every time I log in to blogger and try to blog. I get a brain freeze. I seriously stare at my screen and my mind goes blank. Hence my complete lack of posting. My last few posts have been about Izzie so I decided it was time to blog about the first love of my life.

my incredibly sweet husband. We met 5 years ago this month!

You guys seriously, he's the best. Hands down. I don't care what any of you say. Even if your husbands climb Mt. Everest, make millions of dollars, knit scarves and rescue kittens. Troy is THE best.

He makes me laugh like no one else can. Even if I'm in an incredibly bad mood. He puts up with me, tells me I'm pretty, does the dishes and the laundry.

He's an incredible dad. When we were dating I would watch him in awe with his little nieces and nephews. He loved them so much (and still does) and they love him right back. I thought I knew by that what kind of dad he would be and honestly he surpassed my expectations by immeasurable amounts. He's the kind of dad who gets down on the floor to play and makes everything a game. He gets up in the middle of the night when Izzie cries and is totally fine with all of the yucky parenting stuff. Poop. Pee. Barf. Boogers. And I can see how much Izzie loves her dad. She never wants him to leave for work and is sad she has to be stuck with me.

He spoils me rotten. He's a way more thoughtful gift giver than I. Right now he's currently working extra shifts to earn money for some top secret anniversary gift. Our anniversary is not for 3 more months. He also does little things that I don't think he realizes how much I appreciate. He holds the door open for me and always takes the shopping cart back. He never lets me do it even when I offer. In the winter, he clears the snow off my car before I go some where. He works so hard and always puts our family first.

I could seriously write a novel. These few short paragraphs don't even begin to describe the amazing-ness that is my husband. He has so many qualities that I didn't even know existed in guys. I never imagined I could be so lucky.

I hope he knows how much I love and appreciate him!

Troy you are my best friend, love of my life, soul mate, whatever! I love you!




And in case you were wondering...yes, these pictures were taken last year.  I should grow out my hair again yes?

Izzie is TWO!

I wrote this post about a month ago and for some reason never published it... So here it is one month later.

Is she not the cutest thing ever???

My baby is officially no longer a baby. I believe that a one year old is baby. A two year old is an official not baby.

We celebrated with a small gathering of just family. Is a gathering of 20 is small??? It certainly doesn't feel small in our itty bitty house.

These days Izzie's got spunk. She loves being silly and "sneaking" around. She is also a DRAMA QUEEN. When she gets angry or upset she runs to her room and slams the door. No joke. Where did she learn that? She enjoys testing her mama's patience. She rolls her eyes at me.

She loves babies. That is the understatement of the universe. That girl can spot a baby anywhere within a 100 foot radius. She gives them hugs, kisses and is so soft and sweet. She's obsessed with cats or as she calls them "meows". In fact, most animals names are whatever noise they make. Except puppies. She knows the word "puppy".

She calls me mommy. Another thing I'm not sure where she picked up. Neither Troy or I refer to myself as mommy. She calls her dad "Twoy".

A few fun things she says...

"be-dah"- Thank you (she's been saying this for-ever and no idea how be-dah became thank you)
"mommy whas dees" - mommy whats this?
"Where's gicky? Where'd he go?" - Where's Nicky (she's always looking for uncle Nicky)
"bobo!"- elbow (she's obsessed with finding people's bobo's)
"bapa"- grandma/grandpa
"go da go!"- go dad go! she loves to cheer dad at basketball
"bo ball"- football
"peesa!" - pizza (and always said with gusto)
"She-shos"- cheerios
"meow all in war"- meow fall in water. (it's from the movie Homeward Bound when the cat falls in the river. It was traumatizing for her the first time she watched it. She talks about it a lot)

She of course says many other things but I think those are the some of the funnier ones.

Some of her favorite foods
pizza, tomatoes, cheese, quesadillas, any kind of fruit, fruit snacks, crackers, mac and cheese, ranch dressing, cheerios and pancakes

Izzie pretty much hates all meat and most vegetables. Depending on her mood she'll try a bite or two of either but they usually end up being spit out.

This video cracks me up!

a bit behind...

I'm blogging. That's weird.

I've been MIA. Here's what you missed...

Thanksgiving happened. I started off my morning nice and early at 3:30am to direct the Thanksgiving Day Race. It went awesome. It was our largest race to date. Then I napped and had Thanksgiving dinner which was ok. I was tired and surrounded by 30+ people I barely knew. That's the sucky part of parental re-marriage. "Family time" isn't always with your family.

A few days after Thanksgiving my mom had brain surgery to remove her tumor. It was a very looong surgery. It made for a very looong day. And a very long 4 days while my mom recovered in the neuro intensive care unit at the University hospital. I cried a lot. And in case this is news to you... I didn't really tell anyone. That's how I deal when presented with stressful situations. I pretend they aren't happening. Bad I know. The surgery went awesome. They were able to remove all of the tumor. The tumor was benign. And my mom's recovery has been stellar. She goes back to work next week.

Then came christmas and Izzie was spoiled rotten by her grandparents. In fact, her two favorite toys she got this year were from them. She takes her baby and her "meows" (kitties) every where she goes. She is the best little "mommy". She feeds her baby, changes its diapers, puts her down for naps, etc... She will make a great big sister! One day... ONE DAY. Definitely not an announcement.

We spent New Years Eve with friends. Lot's of laughs, games and inside jokes.

And here we are in 2013. Troy's graduation year. FINALLY. Granted he doesn't graduate until December but I'm sure it will be upon sooner than we think. Don't years just get faster and faster?

Izzie turns TWO next week. Seriously? Well here is a video of Izzie rocking it out with her baby to Guitar Hero for your viewing pleasure.

Is this Real Life?

Last Saturday one of those scary life things happened. I was at work going through the storage room (aka the dungeon) and had no cell service. When I surfaced from the dungeon my phone beeped that I had a voicemail. I was busy setting up stuff for work so I didn't really think much of it. I kept thinking I should check my voicemail. Even though I HATE voicemails. Really, please don't leave me one. I usually never check it for weeks.

It was a voicemail from my mom's husband Blair telling me that my mom was taken to the Emergency Room at Riverton Hospital.

On Saturday my mom got a migraine so severe that it messed with her frontal lobe and caused her to lose her short term memory. She couldn't keep facts straight or anything. My mom's husband took her to instacare where they immediately told her she needed to go to the hospital. She was admitted to the emergency room immediately and was given a CT scan to check for possible stroke.

Luckily, there was no sign of stroke but they found some abnormalities in her blood vessels. So the doctor decided to proceed with an MRI. The MRI showed that there was deterioration in blood vessels to her brain. The MRI also revealed a small mass in her brain stem. She had to be transferred to a larger hospital that had neurologists on staff. After being admitted to St. Mark's hospital she was kept over night for observation. In the morning her short term memory had returned. But she didn't remember much of Saturday except Blair leaving for work and then waking up at the hospital wondering how she got there.

She met with a neurologist who informed her that the medication she had been taking was restricting blood flow to her brain and had caused her severe migraine and memory loss. He prescribed her new medications, physical therapy for her neck (from a previous injury) and recommended a neurosurgeon specializing in that particular part in the brain. She was sent home that night. And has made a 100% rebound. My mom has already submitted her CT scans and MRI results to the University of Utah neurology department and she should be hearing back from them within the next week or so.

As much as it should make me angry that doctors can prescribe medicine that restricts blood flow to a persons brain. I'm so grateful that it happened. Without this horrible reaction occuring, my mom may never have found out about this tumor until it was too late. Fortunately, the doctors are saying this is a very slow growing tumor.

The whole thing was pretty intense. But I felt nothing but comfort through out this whole ordeal. It's hard not worry sometimes. I just don't think I could handle being 25 and having already lost both of my parents. That's the worst part about being an only child. When you lose a parent there is no one else there dealing with it like you are. It's just you. Of course my husband would be a great support but I just don't think it would be quite the same.

My mom has such a great attitude about everything. She says she knows everything is going to be alright. Plus she has already tried to pull the "brain tumor" card on me.  I guess she figures if she can beat cervical cancer and kick ulcerative colitis in the butt (who needs a colon anyway?)... a little brain tumor is nothing, right?

I'll let you know more as I know more.

songs

I teach the 6/7 year olds in my wards Primary. This past Sunday in sharing time we were practicing for the Primary Program that is this coming Sunday. One of the songs we are singing is, "I'm Trying To Be Like Jesus". And I just about lose it every time we sing it. My kids think I'm nuts since they are bored off of their behinds from singing this song over and over. But how can you not get emotional every once in a while when listening to this sweet simple message?

I’m trying to be like Jesus;
I’m following in his ways.
I’m trying to love as he did, in all that I do and say.
At times I am tempted to make a wrong choice,
But I try to listen as the still small voice whispers,

Chorus 
“Love one another as Jesus loves you.
Try to show kindness in all that you do.
Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,
For these are the things Jesus taught.”

I’m trying to love my neighbor;
I’m learning to serve my friends.
I watch for the day of gladness when Jesus will come again.
I try to remember the lessons he taught.
Then the Holy Spirit enters into my thoughts, saying:

Chorus 
“Love one another as Jesus loves you.
Try to show kindness in all that you do.
Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,
For these are the things Jesus taught.”

Hair Today....

I need a change. My hair is driving me nuts. It has reached hippie status. It's to my waist and the ends definitely need a trim. My long hair is becoming a burden. It's constantly getting in my way and in my food. Gross. I know if I cut it I will be sad because it's looong and taken me awhile to get this looong. But I need CHANGE people! CHANGE!! So What should I do?....

I know this isn't the most flattering picture of me. However, I entered a contest to win a makeover and I needed a picture where I didn't look fabulous but not so hideous that I didn't show potential... I feel like this picture says both? Maybe? Or maybe it just says "scary". You choose.

Maybe I should keep my hair long but put more layers and add some bangs like this....

Or perhaps this medium length....

or maybe I can get some serious guts and just chop it all off...

Tell me what I should do. one, two, three.... GO!

Thoughts on a Thursday

The debate. I watched and I loved it. I don't know why but I love politics lately. I hate how stupid it makes people on Facebook though. I hate how disrespectful people can be when it comes to opinions.

I think sheets have an average life span of just over 3 years. Troy and I have only owned 2 pairs of sheets that we were given to us when we were married. Both have become thread bare and holey in the last month. Or maybe we're just really rough with our sheets? Now that didn't sound awkward at all....

I think that grasshoppers and praying mantis are two of the scariest bugs on earth (right after spiders). Both of which have been in my yard lately. A praying mantis was actually trying to climb on my foot yesterday and I screamed and ran inside.

If you are laughing at me, seriously, think about it. Grasshoppers can land on you at any moment and jump REALLY far. Praying Mantis are just evil.

I want to play a "walker" on the tv show The Walking Dead. That would be fantastic.

Speaking of, I am so excited for season 3! Too bad I no longer have cable.

I really wish it were a year from now.

How excited are you for Halloween? Can I get a whoop whoop!?

And.....

That's all I got.

Lame post signing off.

mindless musings

I absolutely hate shredding cheese. It is such a hassle. I also happen to loathe the saw dusty grossness of pre-shredded cheese. It is a conundrum.

I have learned to never get too comfortable as a mother. I thought we had moved out of the diaper blow out days. Until tonight when Izzie and I were snuggling on the couch watching Monsters Inc. and she happened to have EXPLOSIVE diarrhea all.over.me.

The other night I had a dream that I had quadruplets (3 girls, 1 boy) and I was trying to figure out how to breastfeed them all. Waking up from a dream never felt so good.

Izzie's new favorite word is "ummmm". It's kind of hilarious to hear her use it correctly.

I swear everyone and their dog just announced they are expecting baby number 2.

Speaking of baby number 2 everyone keeps asking me when we will have another baby. Especially the daycare ladies at work. I will have another one when the thought of having 2 kids to look after doesn't cause me so much stress my eye balls want to explode.

Good news for those of you who know about my "problem".... I think it's finally fixed! woot woot!

is there anyone out there who has some free time and some good statistics skills? I need some help with a work thing.

I have a horrible addiction to chocolate ice cream with peanut butter milk shakes. It was a habit I started when I was running regularly. Then my jogging strollers tire blew out so I stopped running. But I keep devouring milk shakes. I think you can guess how this could turn out.

Someone please come fix the tire on my jogging stroller before I have to be rolled out of the house.

Some time in the very near future I am going to attempt my very first pot roast. I am excited!  I don't have a pot roast recipe so feel free to share them with me.

I think I finally figured out what I want to be when I "grow up" but I'm not going to share it with you just yet. Just in case I change my mind.

I shall sign off with a quote from one of my favorite movies Julie & Julia...

"What is it that you really like to do?"
"Eat."

Gratitude

To put it lightly I have been a little ungrateful lately. 

Why? 

Why me?

Why this?

Why that?

I don't have enough.

All of these words had become regular thoughts in my head.

These thoughts left me feeling irritable, grumpy, depressed and tired.

My prayers had become nothing more than a mindless recital.

That is, if I even decided to pray that day. 

But I kept getting this nagging feeling. 

you know the one...

that little voice, that whisper

pray

just pray about it

Yesterday, I gave in. I prayed. I told God every selfish thought I had. 

I gave him my worries, my concerns.

I told him how helpless I felt.

And then I went to work and didn't think anything of it for the rest of the day.

Today however, I noticed something different.

Today was no different than any other day, 

But as I sat and watched Izzie play with her sidewalk chalk,

 I realized how much I enjoy my life. 

Honestly, I can't even describe to you the emotions that over came me as I played tic tac toe by myself and Izzie scribbled on the patio furniture. 

I feel so blessed that I am able to stay home with Izzie the majority of the day.

I know that if I worked more it would take away a lot of financial stress,

But I love knowing that I'm the one who taught her what a cow says.

I taught her how to lick sauce off of her fingers

I taught her how to say "shoes".

I have been blessed with so much.

I have a fantastic husband, a beautiful healthy daughter, a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food in my cupboards.

What more do I need?

lately

I have fallen off of the blogging planet. Apologies. But I guess I should only apologize if you missed me. If you didn't then... you're welcome.

Izzie is 19 months now. That is almost 20 months. Which is practically 2 years. I'm having a minor freak out. Has it really almost been 2 years? BAH.

Who needs a ladder when you can climb up the slide instead?

She is everywhere these days. And she has an attitude to boot. I call her the tantrum queen because I have to deal with a tantrum about every hour. She screams, throws things, runs away, scratches and she bites. BITES.ALL.THE.TIME. She bites hard enough to leave marks. And I am at my wits end. Help me please.

Now, so that you don't think I have given birth to a demon baby {even though some days I feel like I have}... Here are the good things.

Zoo Day August 2012

She dances every chance she gets. And she has the best moves. If I could figure out how to post a video of said moves I totally would. Just imagine a little girl spinning in circles with ballerina arms and random head bobs. She loves to growl and pretend to be "scary". She jumps out at random strangers and growls at them. Most people don't know how to react. She also loves to jump. If I ever hear her say "wah, twooo,...." I have to quickly turn around and catch her before she says "weeee!"She randomly likes to jump from places when we aren't looking. For instance, concrete stairs, couches, pools, etc... Luckily, I am basically cat woman and have awesome reflexes. I have saved her from breaking her neck at least a dozen times. She loves babies and is usually toting around her own baby everywhere. She takes her baby for walks, covers it with blankets and gives it kisses too. It's incredibly sweet and I am surprised at how early these gender roles have kicked in. I never even taught her these things!

Mid growl

She still loves her binky. And I have tried taking it away during the day time when she is awake but it has been a battle. And mostly because Troy doesn't think it's a big deal that she still likes to keep it in all of the time. I really don't want to have that kid who has her binky until she is well past binky-hood but you've got to pick your battles. And you've never seen a kid go to kindergarten with a binky, right? please tell me I'm right.

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We went to the doctor recently and she is doing well and on track. She is in the 60-something percentiles for height and weight and 90's for her head {as always}. I am a little concerned about her speech because I don't think it's quite where it should be. The doctor said she should be saying between 20-30 words. She says about 20 but several of them are in her own kind of language. She says things like "Be-dah" {thank you}, "dah dah" {all done}, "shhh" {fish}. As well as some others. Troy says I worry too much. Hopefully that is true. I've never had kids before... is this normal?

Playing at the park with dad

The doctor also mentioned that Izzie probably has a food intolerance to something. She still has very wet #2 diapers just like an infant does. So I've been busy trying to eliminate several common intolerances from her diet to try and figure out what might be causing it.

Zoo Day

So that's Izzie for you in a nutshell. Troy and I have been busy with work and school. Troy just started fall semester today and in the next week or two I will never see him again because Junior Jazz is starting up for Fall. By the way if you know of anyone who loves basketball and needs a job send them to Troy. They are hiring right now!

Oh and I ran that 10k. I really did. I just haven't blogged about it. Maybe I will... one day.

Family pics June 2012

So consider yourself updated.

10k

Anyone remember this post from last year about my BHAG? 

well I never did run it. 

I just wasn't where I should have been mentally to run 6 miles. 

Well folks... on tuesday I am doing it. I am finally completing my BHAG one year later. 

I am running the deseret news 10k. 

I am signed up and everything. I'm a little nervous. 

But mostly really excited! 

I've been training hard and I am ready! 

cross your fingers that I beat Troy.

That's part two of my goal.

He just doesn't know it.

Izzie's 1st Birthday... 6 months later

I lost my camera shortly after Izzie's first birthday. Never did I think to look in our video camera side pocket for it... We never pull out the video camera. Sadly, we only use our phones for videos. Izzie's birthday was super fun... Maybe not for her. She didn't seem to like it one bit.  She was still in a stranger danger phase (even though 95% of the attendees were not strangers). We had the party at the rec center {where I work} which explains the ugly yellow cinder block walls. I know the party wasn't anything special. Sometimes Pinterest makes you feel like a failure of a mom for not throwing a lavish get together. But it was fun and delicious all same!

So in case you weren't there to celebrate with us (or maybe you were but you'd like to reminisce...) Here are the pictures.

Cake pops my awesome boss made! They say "Izzie"

I am no party decorator... 

Strawberry and Vanilla Cupcakes

Both Grandmas

Trying to convince Izzie to eat her cake

Definitely not interested.... 

Cake Smash Fail

Thanks to those who came! Izzie loves you all equally.

I learned to drive

So once upon a time Troy and I got married and went golfing on our honeymoon. Worst idea of our entire marriage. Pretty sure Troy was rethinking his "I do's" the whole time. Long story short my ADD kicked in and I was done golfing by hole 4. And we still had 14 more holes to go. Troy has never invited me to go golfing with him ever again. For the record we have mini golfed. I enjoy that. 

These pictures were taken on our Anniversary last month.

I have always semi wanted to go to the driving range but never enough to actually ask Troy to take me. We went mini golfing for our anniversary at some place in Murray and they had this super cool balcony you could hit the balls off. So I said "Troy take me" and after some minor convincing we rented some clubs and he showed me how to "drive". Tiger Woods watch out. I can hit the ball OVER that black net thing. Yes that means my ball veered very much to the right. I think I nearly took Troy's life twice. But I really enjoyed myself! And I think Troy did too. He enjoyed laughing at me when I would swing and miss and literally make myself spin around from force. 

Perhaps Troy and I can golf together on our 50th anniversary??? We'll see.

P.S. How hot does my husband look holding that club??? 

25

Today I am 25. TWENTY-FIVE. Oy vey. I don't know what it is about 25 but I thought turning 25 might surely kill me. 25 sounds old doesn't it? I have been alive for 2 1/2 decades... soon to be 3 decades. One quarter of a century old. Oy vey. (yes I already said that, I know. But in this situation it deserves repeating).

{source}

I guess at 25 I thought I would have it all figured out. Alas, I do not. Have grown ups always walked around pretending they know what they are doing when in reality they have no freaking clue? Because that is me every day. Please tell me I am not the only one!

So happy 25th to me! Or as I would actually prefer... happy 4th anniversary of my 21st birthday!

Drum roll please...

I have some super exciting and awesome news for all of you!

This is long awaited.

I can't wait to tell you.....


I am....



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are you getting excited yet???

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The new race director for the rec center!!!

Best news ever!! I've been working hard for several months now to get this new position and they just told me yesterday that I got it! I'm super stoked! Did you think I was pregnant? I was hoping I tricked you with my tomfoolery. Definitely not pregnant.

And you are now warned that from here on out 5 times a year I am going to bug ALL of you to come volunteer for races.

I don't know if any of you have ever lost someone close to you but those of you who have know that you have good and bad days. Most of the time I have good days. In fact, I have good months quite often. Something will happen that will remind me of my dad and I'll be just fine. I'll walk away with nothing more than a small pang of emptiness. Other times that emptiness seems to swallow me whole. Sometimes big things trigger it... like life events. My wedding, sealing, the birth of my daughter, her blessing day, etc... they all had hard moments where it was all I could do to keep myself together. But those were also moments of great joy and I think that helped a lot. Most of the time it's the little things that get me. Movies we used to watch together, someone smelled like him, a song.  Tonight is one of those nights. I don't think I'll ever understand how I can miss someone so much who I once was so angry at. Emotions are funny things.

On a lighter note... 3 posts in 3 days? What????

3 amazing years!

Yesterday Troy and I celebrated our 3 year anniversary!

I can't believe it's been 3 years since Troy and I became Mr. and Mrs. It seems like just yesterday we said I do and at the same time I feel like this should at least be our 5th anniversary instead. Maybe it's because our daughter is almost a year and a half? I've loved every second of this crazy ride and I'm so glad to have my partner in crime always by my side.