Sunday, May 17, 2009

4 days!

Self explanatory. I'M GETTING MARRIED IN FOUR DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that is nuts. I never thought the day would come. That sounds wrong. I just mean the day always seemed so far away...and now it's in 4 days! i love troy. Here is a sneak preview of me and my sexy soon to be husband in our wedding attire!!! Can't believe it's almost here!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

true friends

These past few months have been quite eye opening for me. I think getting married does that to a person. I've had so much to get done and a lot of it has been not fun. When you're actually planning a wedding the realization of "this is way more than just picking a dress, a location and a cake" It's too much for one person to handle so I've relied on some friends. Some have done the dirty work for me and others who I know have very busy lives and live far away have been more emotional support. I am so grateful for my true friends. I've also come to the harsh realization (more of a reality i've been denying for quite sometime) that someone who I have considered to be one of my closest friends for quite some time now...just isn't friend material. I feel as if I've given her chance after chance and excuse after excuse. I've even had other friends ask me how i've put up with this bull shit for so long. And my answer: I have no idea.
I've felt like I've been a good friend to her. I was there during some pretty tough times and yet I still think she only want to be my friend when it is convenient for her. This person has caused more hurt than a friend should. And I don't think I can allow them to be in my life any longer.

On the brightside. I have great true friends. Friends who have taken me to the doctor when I was sick. Listened to me when I was sad. Dropped whatever they were doing to help me out in my moment of crisis. I love them. I know I can count on them and these friends will be life long. I've had a few crappy friends (but honestly who hasn't?) I think in the long run I've lucked out. I have some of the greatest friends in the WORLD. And I hope i can be just as good of a friend to them as they have been to me :)

Monday, May 4, 2009

mind reading

It looks like i wrote 2 posts today but technically one of them was written at like 2am. so to me that was last night :)

So i'm one of those women who falls in to the majority who think that men should read my mind. i.e. i'm upset about something, you better figure out what it is and respond properly. Which almost never happens. And you can't tell them...or say "I want you to be supportive and do this____________" because then it leaves you wondering 'are they really doing that because they want to? or because they want me to shut up?' And in complete honesty it's probably both.

But would it seriously kill them to say "i'm sorry you're so stressed about _________ I can understand why you are stressed. That must be difficult. Is there anything I can help you with?"


"Well just don't stress out about it!"

Thank you. because I've obviously never thought about that. You have changed me. The car insurance will pay itself. My teacher will give me an A because he thinks I deserve it. And a great job with a flexible schedule and good pay will fall in to my lap. Thank you for your all knowing wisdom.
In a perfect world I would think this way.

I actually like to think that I stay pretty calm about things. Or maybe it's because I have several friends who are insanely neurotic so I think I'm more on the sane side. I honestly try not to stress out about things. I don't like to feel stressed. I don't want to be stressed. I tell myself it'll all be ok and work out. And then all these things happen at once and the whole "grain of rice that tipped the scale" thing happens. And I find myself in the above situation stressed and frustrated and just plain pissed off. It doesn't help that I'm supposed to start my period on wednesday either. FREAKING HORMONES. I seriously just feel like crawling in to a whole right now. Stupid finals week. Why am I going to college again?

2 1/2 weeks

I can't sleep again. I get married in 2 1/2 weeks. CRAAAAZYYY! Troy and i spend every waking moment of our free time together. So when it's time to go to bed and part sucks. I can't sleep. I'm excited it's so close though! I just have a few more details and i think we'll be set! Just please...SERIOUSLY pray for good weather. It's been raining insane crazy lately. I'm pretty sure I live in a desert...but we must be in monsoon season or something. it's nuts! Stupid unpredictable utah weather.

In really super great news: I GOT AN A ON MY RESEARCH FINAL! and an A- on my research paper. i pretty much rock. I'm pretty confident I'll be getting a good grade in that class (the class i thought would be my hardest) I never got anything lower than a B+ on anything in that class.

In super sucky news: apparently my Survey of Jazz teacher had a typo in the syllabus and I missed my last jazz performance I had to go to for my last jazz report. Awesome. it's not even my fault. So I think the class that I thought i would do my BEST in is actually the class i'm going to do my worst in. sucks. So I'll probably end up with like a C in that class my freaking intro lower division class and around an A- in my upper division really hard class. Something is wrong with this picture.

Random Ranting: If you do not want to work...QUIT YOUR FREAKING JOB! Don't call me 2 hours before your shift EVERY WEEKEND asking me to work for you. stop it. seriously. You request to work the saturday evening shift and every other sunday every month (i saw your schedule requests) so don't whine about not having a social life. You never work when you are there anyway. I haven't complained to any of the managers because I don't want to get stuck working your shifts. we all have our days when we just REALLY don't want to work. i understand the occasional slackerness but yours is every shift. And stop coming to work drunk. If you don't want to be there that badly...just quit. You make more money at your other job anyway.