Monday, October 26, 2009

Dear lame mini van driver...

I have bad luck when it comes to crazy road rage psychos. Today...was a bad luck day.

So it's like 7:10am this morning I am in my car driving up 4th south in salt lake city on my way to school at the U. I was stopped at a stop light and it's was REALLY early right? So I zone out for a minute. And all of a sudden I hear this honking but I thought I heard it coming from the side of me so I look to my right I see nothing but a car whizzing passed. Then an even louder (more aggressive if you will) honk and I put 2 and 2 together.... car whizzing passed me, another car honking...the light has changed! I look up and sure enough it has changed! So I say "Sorry!" to the honking car even though I know they can't hear me and quickly press on the gas and go faster then I normally would through a light because I felt bad I was holding up this mini van behind me.

So I'm just driving along and this van decides that they are going ride my butt all the way up hill and follow me as closely as possible. (I have never understood this following closely of upset cars what does it prove? NOTHING except that if me, myself and I have to slam on my brakes for an emergency they are 90% sure to rear end me and they will get the ticket!)

Anyway, so I'm thinking "you are so very mature 50 year old man driving an ugly mini van." And we get to another light where this time I am NOT the first car line I'm like the 8th. He pulls up and stops probably 2 inches from the rear of my car. THEN when the light turns green he starts honking at me! Even though I have already released my foot from the break and have started to drive! He continues to do this ALL the way up 4th south! THERE ARE A LOT OF STOP LIGHTS on 4th south. The last light i was stopped at I was half way tempted to put my car in park, jump out and tell this grumpy old man to suck it and punch him in the face. Then when we get to another light and I get in the left hand turn lane and he continues to drive straight he LAYS on his horn as he drives past me. He probably flipped me off but I didn't even look at him. I did say "douche bag" as I turned left.

Why are people so ABSOLUTELY ridiculous??? I am sorry that I am an imperfect person and I delayed you for 5-10 seconds at a stop light. But I am sure you will survive. Your horn honking and close following proves nothing other than your own immaturity, stupidity and anger management issues.... and you drive an ugly mini van. So there!

And I wanted to to share something really funny I said on accident the other day...

Troy and I were in the car discussing our Halloween plans. We were discussing whether or not we were going to a party because the Oregon Ducks are playing that night (Troy favorite team and obsession) and they are playing another PAC 10 team and it's a black out game and it's supposed to be a big deal... So he asked me what I said to my friend who invited us to the party...

What I meant to say...

"My husbands favorite football team is playing that night."

What I actually said...

"My favorite husbands football team is playing that night."

Troy then proceeded to give me a strange look. I then I realized what I said.

Troy: "So you have more than one husband, huh?"
Me: "Maybe I do but at least you're my favorite, right!?"
Troy: "uh huh."

(I really do only have one husband!)


  1. What a lame mini van driver! 4th south does suck with all the lights. Is that the story you were calling to tell me?

  2. Yeah, I don't understand road rage. Its funny because driving up to work I can get super mad at someone and then realize that they are pulling into Primary's too and then I'm all embarassed. Why are we nice to people to their faces, but in the car act like we have the right to be "douche bags"?

  3. the funniest part is that it took you the second time of saying it, and the look on troy's face that you figured out what you said. man i miss you.