While I wasn't very good at blogging...I have a life. I still followed through on my 3o days.
Day 3: Today... I will love my body.
I hope it's not just me but I really struggle some days being happy in my body. Especially after I flip through a Victoria's Secret catalog. I literally rarely read that catalog because I get so down on myself for not looking like one of them. Even though I know they are freaks of nature for being skinny and curvy at the same time.
You can ask my husband that being pregnant hasn't exactly helped me with my own body image. I'm in this awkward stage of being pregnant enough to look fat but not pregnant enough to look pregnant. My "skinny" jeans don't fit anymore (the button actually popped off my favorite shorts while I was wearing them) and my other pants are starting to feel uncomfortable. And I know... believe me I know that gaining weight is what I'm supposed to do right now. I know it's healthy for my baby. I know it's perfectly normal. I think it's just hard to wrap my head around when for the past 23 years (ok maybe not 23 but a long time) it's been taboo to gain weight.
So here is what I did. On friday, instead of just wearing my sweats all day like I usually do because they are most comfortable and I got ready. I made myself look pretty and I did feel pretty minus how tight my jeans were around my waist. I also made a list of all the things I love about my body. Here they are in no particular order.
I love that I have the ability to grow and nurture another life inside of me.
I love that my body breathes, pumps blood, etc... without me even having to think about it.
I love that my body has it's own defense system and knows what to do if I put something bad inside of it (i.e. food poisoning, bacteria)
I love that I can walk and run.
I love how smart my body is... it does all sorts of things that I don't even know it's doing.
I love my boobs (sorry if that's tmi but I like mine!)
I love that I have super skinny fingers
I love that I have joints that allow me to bend
Day 4: Today... I will be kind to those around me.
I am not always the nicest person. Not that I think I'm super mean but I know there are times when I am not so nice. I chose this "today" because I knew that I would be working with people who are not my favorite people to work with. I think they are great people outside of work but when it comes to working with them they are just not super smart.
They both have been working at the rec center for a few months now, which is long enough to know how to do a lot of things but they ask me questions and I want to be like "really? will you think about what you just said?" Or, on the things they do know how to to do they tell me the supervisor how to do something and sometimes it takes literally all of the strength inside of me to not say something like..."yes I know! I've worked here for 7 years." I know that I can come off as being short or sometimes overly sarcastic towards them. So I decided to be as nice as possible. Which tried me.
While with the one girl she drove me crazy the entire time and I literally would smile and nod and then I would go busy myself with something else. The other girl I sat and talked to for a little bit and it turned out that I kinda like her. I liked myself a lot more for being nice to them too. When I sort of brush someone off or I'm short with someone I feel guilty about being mean. Saturday was pretty much a guilt free day (however I do feel guilty for telling another co-worker in passing that I might commit suicide tonight having to be alone with those two). I shouldn't spread my meanness around. While sometimes it's not easy to be nice I don't feel like such a jerk. And I'm sure people like me better when I'm nice too.
Day 5: Today... I will be grateful for my family
This one was easy peasy. I LOVE MY FAMILY. All of them. I love my immediate family, my extended family and yes even my in-laws. Before I was married I always heard about people complaining about their in laws but I was pretty lucky in that department. Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in because I was raised sooo differently then my husband. It's taken me some time to find my place in their tight knit family but I think I'm starting to fit in.
I'm grateful for my mom for doing everything possible to make me happy growing up. She worked really hard and I know being a single mom couldn't be easy.
I'm grateful for my dad and the things I have learned from his life.
I'm soooooo grateful for my husband. He's kind, generous, loving, funny, fun, super hot, and gives way more than he gets. Sometimes I don't know how he puts up with me. He always knows how to make me smile and takes great care of me. I definitely lucked out in the husband department.
I'm grateful for my extended family. They're all so different and I learn so much from them.
I'm grateful for my in laws for being accepting of me and for creating such a wonderful human being who is now the most spectacular husband.