Merry Christmas Eve!

While my family is watching some old black and white Christmas movie...I just can't get in to black and white movies. Can't do it!

I created my very own blog button for my food blog! I feel so tech savvy right now! So you should look to the left of your screen...and click on my button and watch the magic! And if you love me... when it takes you to my site, you should copy the button code and add the button to your page! {But you could still do it even if you only like or tolerate me. That works too!}

And Merry Christmas!!

Isabel: 11 months

Izzie,

One more month and you will be one year old. A YEAR! I freak out a little more every day. The way the days are slipping away from me lately... you'll be 18 by next week.

My new nick name for you is "Busy" 1)because it rhymes with Izzie 2) because that's exactly what you are... busy. You are busy crawling everywhere. Busy pulling items out of drawers and boxes, pulling out things I just put away. You are busy finding and eating objects that can barely be seen by the naked eye. You are busy playing, singing, laughing, climbing. You wear me out.

This month you have been the most needy you have ever been. You are such a mama's girl. Even though this complicates a lot of the things I need to get done. Sometimes I get a little put out about it... I seriously love it. You give the best hugs. You wrap your little arms tight around my neck when you are in new situations and you are scared someone might try to steal you from me. When I walk in to the room you greet me with a big smile, squeal and come charging at me as fast as you can crawl.

You love peek-a-boo. You love to chase your dad around the house. You especially love to chase grandma and grandpa's dogs. You think this is hilarious. You laugh so hard. It makes me smile.

You are still working up the courage to stand on your own. However, sometimes we'll look over and notice you are standing all by yourself. It doesn't last very long, maybe about 5 seconds until you get too nervous about standing by yourself. I'm sure you'll be walking before we know it but you'd still rather crawl then walk around with us holding your hands.

We took you in to the doctor this month because of this never ending cold that you've had. Apparently it's just teething... Your top 3 teeth are coming in! I was so surprised I didn't realize they would come in so soon! I can see one of your little teeth marks poking through gums. I'm sure it will be popping through soon!

You love the Christmas tree. The ornaments on the bottom half of the tree are now gone. I'm so excited for your first Christmas! So excited! It's been so hard for me to not give you your presents now. I've actually delayed getting you the last of your presents so I won't be tempted to give them to you!

Some of your favorite foods are: cheerios, peas, cheese, tomatoes (so weird for a baby). Pretty much anything you can feed yourself. Baby food was so 5 minutes ago :)

Your favorite toy right now: measuring cups. The first thing you do in the morning is pull the cups out of the drawer! You love to play with them in the kitchen!

You are the most amazing little person! There are days when I still can't even believe you are mine. We are such lucky parents to have you!

Love,
Mom

check out how good I look!

To preface...I know a lot of people don't feel this way and I am in no way talking about anyone I know personally...please please don't be offended.

One of my blogging pet peeves are the "check out how stylish I am in my clothes" posts that are popping up all over my fave "mommy blogs". You really do dress cute. And I really am jealous of how cute you are. But I don't care.

It may have something to do with the fact 87% of the time I'm dressed like this...

Sweatshirt: Oakhills Elementary (aka my place of employment)
Shirt: Down East on sale
Yoga pants: Kmart
mismatched socks: Journey's

Can we please get back to your mama moments? All I really want to read about are the times you found poop in your hair or thought you might go crazy. Those posts make me feel sane and happy. Fashion posts make me feel bad about myself. kthanksbye.

p.s. I have no idea why my legs look all lumpy in that picture.

eternity

if you know anything about eternity you know that it has no beginning and no end. I've always hated thinking about this. I've never had a problem with the no end thing... but no beginning? ugh. It gives me a head ache.

I was reading a beautiful story about a family on Vintage Revivals. She was talking about how she had a moment upon meeting her husband that she knew she was going to marry him. She said some thing about her soul recognizing him. I've heard of this before.

It made me think about the first time I met Troy. That first night I met him I remember thinking "this guy is cute! I need to stay far far away from him!" {I had only just gotten out of a very serious relationship a few months previous}

Some how I ended up having to hang out with him and some friends that next weekend. That "hang out" turned in to a semi date and it only took that night for me to know that we would get married.

Everything was easy with him. Everything was familiar with him. Even though I was just getting to know him it was like I had known him my whole life. I remember one time specifically we went to Vegas together with some friends about a month after we had met. He and I were brushing our teeth together in the hotel bathroom. I felt like I had brushed my teeth with him at least a thousand times. I kept thinking how weird that was.

I still think about that day when we brush our teeth together. Which has been at least a thousand times by now.

Mandi from Vintage Revivals wrote this, "I believe that Court and I were together before this life, the moments of recognization were real."

And some how that is when Eternity became clear to me {well at least as clear as it ever has been and probably will be}. I recognized these moments because Troy and I have been and will be together for eternity.

It's giving me a head ache again just thinking about it. But I just thought I'd share :)

....i love us....

I'm {blank} because

I was going to do this when I first read it off of Little Miss Momma last week. And then I didn't. Then Mara did it. Now I have to! :)

I'm {weird} because...
I love egg nog
I can only fall asleep in two different positions
I have dermatographia
I like taking scalding hot showers
I hate sausage
Cooking is my stress reliever
I lose everything. No really I do. Especially my phone or my keys. In fact, I have no idea where either of them is at this very moment.

I'm a {bad friend} because...
I forget to text people back. I read them and set my phone down to finish whatever I was doing and then I forget to write back.
It takes me forever to return the things I borrow.
I take things a little too personally sometimes.
I'm a home body and most of the time would prefer to stay home and watch Netflix.
I've been a little too wrapped up in my own life lately.

I'm a {good friend} because...
I try to always call a friend on their birthday (sometimes I forget or I can't do it so I text) but I always prefer to call my friends on their birthday instead of text or FB.
I'm a good listener
I accept different views/opinions/beliefs. Just be you.
If you call and tell me you need me... I'll be there asap.

I'm {sad} because...
We're in a bit of a financial drought.
I still don't fit in to all of my pre-pregnancy jeans.
My baby is almost a one year old!
I really really want to go to grad school but that won't happen for a very long time.

I'm {happy} because...
I have the cutest little girl!
I have the most incredible supportive husband!
We just got a bunch of our dishes out of storage and it's nice to be using our own things again.
I'm actually excited for Christmas for the first time since my dad died.

I'm excited for...
Christmas :)
Izzie's first birthday.
Spending time together as a family.
Izzie opening her birthday and christmas presents
Learning how to cook new things!
Candy cane cookies!

why I love my life

Reason #928...


Troy's making a weird face in his sleep. Ignore that and just observe the perfection of this moment. It made my heart so happy!

under construction

Please excuse my ugly blog for the next..... I have no idea how long. I'm just sick of the way it looks. It needs a face lift. Except I know little about HTML so it will take me awhile to teach myself how to anything. Not to mention figure out what I want. And since I have been so bad at blogging in general lately who knows how long it will take me to get a "blog lift".

I'm obviously toying around with a new title too... the jackson three. I don't know how I feel about it. Thoughts?I had luke warm feelings about Jacksonville as well. Any suggestions for a new title? I prefer something clever as opposed to something like "The Jacksons".

Anyone just want to do it for me?

Isabel: 10 months

Izzie,

My oh my! What a busy little girl you are! It seems you are every where these days. Crawling and climbing all over the place. You climbed up on the couch when me and your dad weren't looking and completely surprised us! We hadn't put you up there! You are constantly getting in to things and love pulling tissues from the tissue box and laundry out of the basket. You also love looking at yourself in our big giant closet mirror. It's really helpful when I'm trying to get ready in the morning. I just plop you down in front of it while I decide on an outfit and you are completely content.

Your taste buds are starting to get more refined and you no longer just gag down food that isn't your favorite. You will spit it out or knock the spoon out of my hands. You love Cheerios and especially yogurt. I can no longer eat a yogurt by myself. You whine and moan and throw a fit until I give you bite after bite.

You are really silly. You love to try and bite peoples noses. You think it's hilarious! With the weather getting really cold we bought you a big purple puffy coat. You aren't too fond it. As soon as you put it on you get really stiff and just stare at us like, "can I be done now?". You had your first Halloween! It was pretty uneventful. We stayed home and gave out candy since we all had been sick. However, you were the cutest little skeleton around!

You finally got your first tooth! And your second one looks as if it will pop through any day! You've been really good with teething. It doesn't seem to bother you too much {thank goodness!}. I also am starting to think you might be a lefty. I had my suspicions when you first started grabbing things but now it's become more apparent how much you use your left hand! I think it will be interesting to see what happens as you get older!

I can't believe you are 10 months already. I remember those first few sleep deprived weeks when I wondered how I would ever make it through this first year and suddenly this first year has almost come and gone. You are growing up much too fast. We love watching you grow and learn new things. I wouldn't be surprised if by next month you've learned to stand up on your own with out holding on to anything. You are already experimenting with letting go of whatever you are holding on to. You are so fun and the perfect addition to our family! We love you!

Love,
Mom

Still here

Hello! I am definitely not dead! Just really bad about updating this blog and my food blog. Between working two jobs (both very part time but... still) being a mom, and constantly being sick I haven't done very much. It seems just as I am getting over one cold, I catch another one. Insert a little food poisoning in to the mix and you can understand how much fun I've had! Izzie has been sick as well. Just with a cold but it's made it hard for her to sleep because she can't breathe. So as many parents know, when your baby isn't sleeping... neither are you. It's been a rough month on my body. I have felt like the walking dead. I have literally spent all of my free time sleeping.

Other than being sick the Jackson crew hasn't been up to much. Just hanging out with some friends I haven't seen in a while. Troy's been busy with school,work and basketball. Izzie is getting bigger and smarter every day. We're still here. We might be a little boring but here nonetheless.

Isabel: 9 months

Izzie,

Oh my little baby girl. You turning 9 months is officially freaking me out. I've been ok with every other month birthday. I've been excited for each new month and all of the fun new changes that come with it. This month though... You are getting much too big. You will be one year old in only 3 short months. It took me 9 months to "bake" you. It feels like just yesterday I was holding you in my arms for the very first time, scared and happy all in the same moment.

You are getting so smart. You are figuring out new things every day. You can wave hello and good bye. It's very inconsistent and takes a lot of prompting but you can do it. You have finally started real crawling, none of this army crawl stuff. You're still getting the hang of it though. It's a very mechanical crawl and looks like you're thinking really hard to be able to do it correctly. You do this really funny thing when you try to crawl in to the bathroom. You don't like crawling over the metal transition piece between the bathroom linoleum and the hall carpet. You'll stick you're bum in the air with your feet on the ground until you get on to the linoleum.



You've become quite the little explorer. You crawl all over the house now. I'm constantly chasing after you and pulling out random things from your mouth that you found on the carpet. The scariest thing I pulled out of your mouth was a piece of glass. Dad broke a plate on the kitchen floor a few weeks ago. We swept and swept. I thought we got all of it up. But you never cease to amaze us with your minuscule object finding skills. The pack n' play has become a permanent fixture in our living room. God bless the person who invented it.

You are still somewhat shy with strangers. You'll smile at them if they seem friendly enough to you. Unless they're a big tall man with a deep voice. Then you get this very serious nervous look on your face. You don't give out laughs very easily. We have to work really hard for those. You still laugh the most and the loudest for dad.

You say "mama". I'm not 100% sure you know that mama is me. You do say "mama" whenever you want my attention. And other people have noticed it too. So I like to think it's your first official word. You have also figured out how to unscrew the lid on water bottles. I have no idea how you learned this. It drives me crazy.

You love eating and we've been slowly introducing table foods to you. You love them. You've gotten quite good at picking up those little bits of food!

You are such a wonderful little person. We couldn't be more happy that you are ours.

Love,
Mom

P.S. we're still waiting for those little teeth to pop through!

kids say the darndest things

These are the kinds of conversations I have every day...

on a particularly chilly morning when most of the kids were complaining of the cold one boy piped up and said, "Mrs. Jackson I'm not cold. In fact I'm warm. I was born in spring so I'm used to this weather." Ok dude, whatever you say.

girl: "Mrs. Jackson I can't sit down I'm allergic to grass" (After she had just been rolling around)
me: well you were just rolling in the grass...
girl: my pants aren't allergic to grass
me: I think you'll be fine, sit down

girl 2: "I can't do sit ups today. My heel hurts "

boy: So how do we play?
me: {I explain how to play}
boy: that wasn't a question
me: what wasn't a question?
boy: what I asked
me: if you asked it... that's a question.
boy: no it's not.

and my favorite...

girl: Mrs. Jackson you look different today
me: how do I look different?
girl: you look pretty

I'll take what I can get :)

a typically typical day

My friend Mary posted {awhile ago, I'm behind} her typical day and I liked it. And I thought I want to do that to. So here I go!

Here is my typical non-working day...

6:20 am- wake up call from my cute little alarm I like to call Izzie.
6:20-6:45 am- Play with Izzie and make my breakfast {instant breakfast and a slice of bread with peanut butter}
6:45am- feed Izzie and myself
7:00am- watch Good Morning America while Izzie plays for 30-45 minutes
7:45am- do the dishes while Izzie plays in the exersaucer. Continue until dishes are done or until Izzie whines or cries wayy too much. If I'm lucky I get to clean some of the kitchen too.
8:30-9am ish- Put Izzie down for a nap.
9-11am- Then I either nap, finish cleaning, blog, Facebook, watch tv, look up lesson plan ideas for PE the next week.
11am- Izzie gets up from her nap and eats lunch.
12pm- I eat lunch
12:30-2:30- play with Izzie, run errands
2:30pm- make Izzie a bottle
2:45-3pm- put Izzie down for second nap
3-5pm- figure out dinner, surf internet for recipes, craft
5pm- Izzie wakes up
5:30pm- make Izzie dinner/feed her
6pm- make dinner
7:00-7:30pm- Troy comes home, we eat dinner
7:30- family play time
8:00 pm- Put Izzie in jammies and feed her and rock her to sleep.
8:30-9pm Izzie {hopefully} is in her crib trying to fall asleep. Troy and I take turns going in to her room to rub her back, lay her back down and tell her it's bed time.
9pm- watch tv with Troy or more recently do some P90x. I only do P90x 3 times a week.
10:30pm- in bed falling asleep.

I'm exhausted just typing it out.

The End.

Isabel: 8 months

I'm a bit behind on blogging lately... forgive me. I just haven't been in the mood.

Dear Izzie,

I just have to say how much fun you've been lately. Your little personality has really begun to shine. You squeal, flap your lips {and spit all over us in the process}, give big slobbery kisses, laugh at us and yourself, bounce up and down, crawl and get in to ev-er-y-thing.

You get so excited when you see animals, especially dogs. You try to play with the big kids at grandma and grandpa's. Luckily you have mostly girl cousins so they love having a baby to play with. You love to look at yourself in the mirror and you give yourself big wet kisses. You absolutely love people too. You have even started giving big cheesy grins to strangers.

Some new things you started doing are: standing and army crawling {really well} we've tried to put you on your knees but you prefer to army crawl. You can pull yourself up in your crib and you try to stand up using just about everything. Your favorite toys aren't even toys. You love cells phones, remote controls, air vents, hair brushes and just about anything dangerous that a baby shouldn't get their hands on.

This month you went camping for the first time and you had a really great time. You slept surprisingly well during the night. Except your dad and I discovered that you are a bed hog. The only time you started crying at night was when one of us were in your way. You'd hit or kick us until we moved. You also started going to day care twice a week while I'm at work. You seem to enjoy it and your sitter Carmela adores you. She says you are such a good baby {and I couldn't agree more}. It's so hard to leave you though. I hope you know that! If I had it my way I would stay home with you all day. Unfortunately, we aren't in the position that we can do that. Lucky for us though it's only two days a week!

This month you got your first cold. You must have gotten it from day care because you got sick first and then your dad and I got sick with sore throats. It was so awful seeing you sick. You just moaned all day and night for two days. They were some exhausting days for all of us.

I am so glad that you are mine. I love you so much.

Love, Mom

(Playing with dad before church)

(getting in to things)

(hanging out watching some tv, I'm a horrible parent I know)

(Standing up in our crib)

(bath time! our favorite time of the day!)

(my two sickies taking a nap)

Mrs. Jackson

That's my official PE teacher name. It's weird. I have a whistle and everything {yeah, I'm legit}. Yesterday was my first day teaching and HOLY HANNAH is it hard work. I think I have a lot of bad karma coming my way too. I was a nightmare student when it came to PE. I was that kid who thought I was being funny when I was actually being really obnoxious. I never followed instructions. Please Karma...be kind.

My first day went a little something like this...

Hi I'm Mrs. Jackson, rules, rules, yada yada, YELLING YELLING, whistle blowing, almost broke my ankle, got told I had armpit sweat, more yelling, walking from one end of the school to the other, standing in the heat ALL.DAY., made a girl cry, more yelling and whistle blowing. I came home and collapsed on the floor.

I was in bed asleep by 10pm. I usually never go to sleep until around midnight. I would like to say that I slept like a baby but instead I kept having nightmares about PE.

Here's to day 2!

my silly girl

I may have gotten a little picture happy the other day... but she was being so funny. She kept laughing and squealing through this little phone photo shoot. Isn't she so cute? {And I promise those aren't real glasses! I wasn't trying to give her a head ache! }

Hey You! Yeah You!

Do you like food? Do you like cooking? Or do you despise cooking but do it anyway as a means to get food? If you meet any of the above criteria then you should check out Husband Approved Food! One of my very best friends Mallory and I decided that since we love cooking and sharing recipes that maybe we should try out this whole recipe blog thing together. We're still in the works on design and such but there are three whole recipes on there right now! Tasty recipes too! So go give us a visit at Husband Approved Food! Leave a comment, follow us! I'll pay you back in blog love! Go do it right now!!

Isabel: 7 months

My Izzie,

Today I am so grateful to be able to celebrate your seven month of life! It really has been the greatest time of my life! You are so special and so brilliant! You are such a happy baby!


Your jabber has turned in to what I like to pretend are words. You say "dadadada", "mamamama", and "babababa". You've been pretty needy lately. You cry when I walk out of the room and whenever I walk by, you hold your arms up with this little pouty face. It's not that I'm ignoring you. I'm just trying to get things done!


You love food! Your favorites are carrots, bananas, beef with sweet potatoes (the kind I make for you) and peas! You eat all of those with surprising gusto. And many of those bites come with an "mmm". You don't so much like avocado, salmon, or watermelon. It always takes you at least 3 or 4 bites before you decide that you don't like something and then you start making this gagging noise. Except for the watermelon. You shivered after the first bite and started making this gagging sound and then you actually threw up a little bit. It was pretty funny.


You are such a daddy's girl. You absolutely light up when he comes through the door. You start kicking your feet and get this big grin on your face. Nobody can make you laugh like your dad can. You love playing with him. He tosses you on the bed and tickles you and you love it! Which is a good thing because your dad isn't the kind to play gentle. I have a feeling that in no time you two will be wrestling each other.


I also think you'll be crawling much sooner than I'm ready for you. You've started to get on your hands and knees and do that rocking motion everyone has been telling me so much about!

You are such a joy and we love you so much!!

Love, Mom



All of the lovely photos of my beautiful baby were taken by the AMAZING Paige Davis Photography! She's so great to work with! She did Izzie's newborns too!

Pray for Ruby Jane

I don't typically do this kind of thing but I was really touched while reading about this family last night. I seriously just started crying as I read about their sweet baby girl. She's only a week older than Isabel and I cannot imagine what they must be going through. No parent should ever have to watch their child go through that kind of pain. A friend of mine posted a link to their blog on Facebook. I don't know them but I think every extra prayer they can get would helpful. So put baby Ruby Jane in your prayers!

Happy Birthday Troy!

It's this sexy man's birthday today....

{This is an old picture from Thanksgiving 2009 it just makes me laugh}

I'm so glad he was born 26 years ago today! In honor of his birthday I've decided to share with you 26 things you may not know about my awesome husband!

1. He's the biggest sports nerd I've ever met.
2. He's obsessed with Oregon Duck Football
3. He loves mountain biking (that's actually what he's doing right now!)
4. His favorite color is green
5. His favorite bands are Thrice, Rise Against and Say Anything
6. He hates mushrooms
7. He's really good at football
8. He likes to play golf
9. He watches ESPN on all.the.time.
10. His favorite food is italian
11. He says I-talian and I think its weird
12. His favorite donuts are the white cake donuts from Dick's Market
13. He's the 4th of 5 children
14. He's originally from Oregon
15. He had the unique opportunity of being able to serve in 3 different countries while on his mission (U.S., Venezuela, Chile)
16. He's fluent in spanish
17. He's really close with his family
18. His middle name is Dennis
19. He likes watching Jersey Shore
20. He loves to go fishing
21. When we go camping he loves to go out and find {huge} dead trees and knock them over to make fire wood
22. He's really easy going
23. His favorite meal that I make for him is baked ziti
24. If he could go anywhere in the world he'd go to the Caribbean
25. He's really indecisive
26. He has a really cute wife and daughter :)

I love you Troy! Thanks for being born! You are such an amazing husband and father! Izzie and I are so blessed to have you in our lives!

Finally

I am happy to announce that I am once again an employed member of society!! I will be the new PE teacher at Oak Hills Elementary.

I'm so grateful for this job. I know I definitely had some divine help when it came to finally landing the perfect new job. I was actually applying for a different job at the school district and asked my neighbor if I could list her as a reference since she also works for the district. It turns out that she was hiring at her school for the PE job and they hadn't even put it on the district website yet. This job was better hours and pay. I met with her and before I knew it she asked me if I wanted the job.

It's perfect. It's good pay. Two days a week so I still get to stay home with my baby most of the week. It'll be nice to get out of my house once in a while!

I would like to say that I never got discouraged over these past 4 months of searching. I would like to say that I never doubted God had a plan. But that would be lying.

Why is it that God always seems to push you to your limits and make you wait until the last moments of desperation before he finally let's the sun peek through the clouds? I know that it wouldn't be a test if I wasn't actually tested but believe me I was getting worried.

Troy and I had a looming deadline. His school schedule will be hectic this fall and as a result his hours at work will be cut significantly. I needed to find something fast! My first day of work is the first day his schedule changes! Definitely cutting it close!

I know the next year or two might be difficult for Troy and I as he tries to finish his degree as quickly as possible. My poor husband is working himself to the bone! However, I know that we will always be taken care of. Sometimes I get so jealous {even though I try not to} of all my friends with husbands who have finished school, own houses, go on fun trips, etc... I'm so quick to forget my blessings. It's a bit obvious why God constantly has to remind me by putting me through these "tests" {when will I learn?}. But I'm so grateful for the reminders!

Also, if any of you know someone who might be willing to watch the worlds cutest baby Tuesdays and Wednesdays starting on August 23rd... let me know!

And all you Rec Center peeps also as of today... I'm baaack. Yeah, yeah, yeah... don't say it.

Food

As some of you know nutrition is pretty important to me. It's what I got my minor in. I would have switched it to my major if The University of Utah offered it as a major. But I was too close to graduating and didn't want to transfer schools again.

I'm not saying that I eat 100% great. I love chips, donuts, cookies, etc... And I in no way intend to completely cut these out of my diet. I do however try to make healthy choices. I try to limit my intake of the aforementioned goodies, I buy 100% whole grain everything, fruits, veggies, etc... I have rules about what I will and won't feed my daughter. Nutrition is a big deal.

Last night I watched this movie and it definitely made an impact on me.


Seriously, it's going to further change the way me and my family eat forever. It's going to make me think twice about what I purchase. I know it's not going to be an over night thing. But I will be better.

A means of escape or release from confinement; an outlet

That was the definition of vent. Since I was in tears this morning. Here I go...

I've decided that sometimes I really really hate being an adult. The majority of the time the pros definitely out weigh the cons. Yet sometimes those darn cons suck.

I don't really like to lay out all of my problems right here on my blog. In fact, I know that I've been pretty blessed. Sometimes I feel like my struggles are so petty, but I still struggle. Troy and I have been living in a state of high stress lately. {Just to preface no our marriage is not in a state of high stress. We've just got a lot on our plate right now}. This morning when the guy called to tell me that the repairs on my car were going to cost well over $700. I lost it. More so because I took my car in to the exact same place less than a month ago for the exact same problem and they didn't fix it right the first time. Which of course isn't their fault because they still would have "encouraged" me to complete the other repairs. But no worries because they're going to give me a 5% discount {sarcasm much intended}. Do you know what 5% of $700 is? I do. It's $35.

And the thing that made me the most mad? That I couldn't get mad at them. That I just said "ok." I can't make myself get mad at people. Probably because I've worked in customer service for 8 years. I've had quite a few jobs in my time and have been yelled at for ridiculous things, some justified but usually not. Ex. Because their check bounced, or I caught them sneaking in, there was dirt in their salad, or we don't allow outside food, the power went out, poop in the pool, not enough parking spaces and a million other things. I've been that person time and again.

I usually just let it go. But this time when I feel that I am really justified. It's like I don't know how. Even though I've seen it happen a million times.

And it makes me mad at myself.

Things to do: grow a backbone.

new project in the works!

I'm so excited I can barely stand it! My husband is picking up this today....




I've been searching for the right dresser with doors in the middle FOREVER. This beauty is going to be the new home for our TV and DVD's. This way little baby fingers can't pull DVD's off the shelf or press buttons. Now that she's a roller she's already rolled her way over to our current cheap glass TV stand and tried pulling things off.

I just can't decide what color to paint it. Definitely not black. I hate dusting. I'm kind of wanting to go with a grey and yellow color scheme for our living room...

so maybe something like this...

{source}

or this...

{source}

or this...

{source}

or maybe this...

{source}

or maybe this, this, this or this.

What should I do???

goin' to the bbq and we're gonna get married...

As some of you may know my mom got married on the 4th of July. It was a total surprise. Kinda like a surprise birthday party only in reverse. The stars of the show knew and the guests had no idea. I've told several people over text the gist of the story but for those of you who want the whole story... here it goes!

My mom and Blair have been dating for two years and had gotten engaged about a month ago while on a hiking trip. He proposed to her in Moab under Wedding Ring Arch. Cute huh? Since neither of them wanted to make a big deal out of the wedding they just wanted to get married by a justice of the peace.

I on the other hand, had several stipulations for this marriage.

1. my mother had to wear a white dress
2. my mother needed a bouquet
3. there had to be cake {so I could eat it}

My mom never had these with her previous marriage. So I wanted my mom to feel bride-esque. She and I grappled back and forth about this for awhile. I'd keep asking her when she thought her and Blair were going to tie the knot and she kept being elusive about the date but hinting more toward August.

Then my mom told me that she and Blair wanted to have a barbecue on the 4th of July. I thought nothing of it. I mean there are like a bazillion barbecues that day. She told me that Blair's son Curtis and his other son Connor and his wife Katie and their kids would be in town. Then we would all decide on a date that worked for us so we could all partake in this joyous occasion.

On July 4th, We get to Blair's house and see lots of cars. I was certainly confused. I thought it was only going to be us kids. We walk to the backyard and see my mom's entire family and Blair's entire family. Then my mom walks out in the white sundress she had been telling me about for the wedding. I am instantly irritated because I think to myself, "She's getting married today! My mom invited all of these people to her wedding and some how forgot to mention to her ONE and ONLY child that she was getting married!"

I don't say anything to her because I don't want to get mad at her and make her feel bad on her wedding day. I also don't mention anything to any of my family because I'm embarrassed that my mom forgot to tell me. Except no one is saying anything about a wedding. And everyone is very barbecue casual. So then I think, "Ok maybe I'm overreacting. They just invited their families so everyone can meet because they're going to be getting married soon. And my mom probably just wanted to wear the dress because it's a nice day. It is a sun dress after all."

We have a blessing on the food and then Blair stands up. He says something about how nice it is that everyone came and yada yada... I don't really remember what he said because suddenly my mom comes walking out with our Bishop and my jaw dropped. She sees my face and starts laughing. Suddenly Blair announces, "Oh and by the way everyone since you're all here, we decided today would be a nice day to get married!" To my relief, everyone was surprised! NO one knew!

And then they got married under an awning several feet away from the potato salad. Blair wore a plaid shirt and shorts. It was all very casual. And then the Bishop left and we finished with our barbecue. So my mom got what she wanted a stress free, no big deal wedding and I got what I wanted. My mom wore a white dress, there was a bouquet of flowers on the table and there was cake. And it was delicious!

It was a really nice day. My mom is incredibly happy. I don't think she has stopped smiling since. Here are a couple pictures from their special day!

This is a picture of my moms ring. They didn't even have their official wedding rings for the wedding yet because they were being custom made. The sides are turquoise and elk ivory. Blair has a band sort of similar to it. If you know my mom her ring is very her!

Isabel: six months

Dear Izzie,

Oh my dear sweet girl! {I sounded like my mother just then...weird}. I can't believe you have been alive for half a year. Half a year? It makes me want to cry.

You have started to come out of your shy little cocoon and smile at everyone you see. You give the best smiles that warm my heart. I could seriously stare at you all day long. You give full blown laughs now. We have to work really hard to get them but they're worth it. Believe me I've done some crazy things, that may or may not include some ridiculous dance moves just to hear that sweet laugh.

You sit up so well by yourself. You'd rather be on your tummy than on your back. I can no longer leave you unattended on a bed because you roll like crazy! You've shown lots of interest in crawling. You get so frustrated when something is out of your reach and you can't figure out how to move your legs to get there. This past week you were sitting up in the bath tub playing with a toy and while I was reaching for the shampoo you fell face first in to the water. You scared me half to death. The memory of you coughing up all the water you had just inhaled, after only being under water for 1.3 seconds still haunts me. I made your dad give you all of your baths the rest of the week. I'm still scarred.

I love pulling you out of your crib in the morning or from a nap. You cling to me like I've just rescued you from some terrible torture.

You've started giving me hugs. I melt. You give really slobbery open mouth kisses too. You also rest your little head on my shoulder during church and all of the ladies in relief society just die from your cuteness.

You are practically perfect in every way! {Even though we're going through another rough patch full of tears}.

Love, Mom

6 month stats

Weight: 18lbs 4oz, 89%
Height: 26.5in, 79%
Head 98%

the many faces of Izzie

These were all taken within about a 90 second time frame. It made me laugh.


Oh and by the way if you couldn't tell from the pictures... she can sit up all by herself as of the other day!!

reminders

I've been really discouraged lately. Not about anything in particular that I want to talk about. I was sitting on my front porch last night watching all of the cars drive past on my busy street. That's what I do when I want a little me time/time to think. Watching cars drive by has some sort of soothing effect for me. That's when I was reminded of something.

Two years ago this month I was searching for a new part time job. I was looking for something in the psychology field. If you only have a Bachelor's in psychology most employers want at least a year of related experience. I was graduating in a little over a year so if I wanted to be able to apply for the good jobs when I graduated I needed to start now. I remember I prayed and prayed to help me find the job that would prepare me for what I wanted to do in the future.

It didn't take me long to find the perfect job. The job was working with a family who's little boy has autism and doing ABA therapy with him in his home. It was in my field, a mile from my house, perfect hours for my school schedule, I could still keep my other job and to top it all off it paid really well. I emailed the mom to see if the position was still open and before I even had time to put my resume together she emailed back about an interview. I seriously felt like the stars had aligned. I had a really good feeling about this job. You know that feeling...where you know you're supposed to be doing something? I was so excited! I met with the mom for an interview and I got the job.

I was so grateful. I knew the stars really had aligned and Heavenly Father helped me find this amazing opportunity. I was floating on a cloud. Then I started actually working and I immediately came crashing back down to earth. This job was h-a-r-d. Learning the therapy programs was more complicated than I had imagined. Keeping all of the rules straight of when you should do this, when you should do that and when there are exceptions to where you should be doing something different. To make matters worse, we had weekly staff meetings where I had to go in front of the mom, the lead therapist and the other aides and do what we called "sittings". I kind of really sucked in the beginning. I get really nervous in front of people and then having to sit there and have everyone tell me what I did wrong made me want to throw up.

Also, I don't know how many of you have ever been around someone who has autism but it's not an easy disorder. Sometimes he was the sweetest little boy who I wanted to smother with hugs and kisses. Other times I was almost in tears.

It was a surprise every day. Maybe today he'd be happy and laughing and we'd have a lot of fun. Or maybe today would be rough and he'd pull out another clump of my hair, slap me, throw stuff at me, kick, bite, pinch, claw, scream at me. Some days I would literally come home covered with bruises and scratches.

There were moments I wanted to quit. I had days I would come home, cry and dread having to go back the next day. I questioned why I had been lead to this job. Obviously, this job is too hard. Maybe I had made a mistake, maybe Heavenly Father had made a mistake.

And now two years later... jobless. I have figured out why I needed that job. It wasn't to prepare me for my future career. I needed that job to prepare me to be a mother. When I started that job in July of 2009, I had no plans of getting pregnant 9 months later. This job taught me mothering skills. Patience, kindness and perseverance. It taught me to love someone despite the moments when they've been a complete terror. It taught me to let loose and that it's OK to be silly. Kids love silly. It also taught me a million other things I probably have yet to realize or discover.

Anyway, my reminder last night was that when there are discouraging moments in life, moments when I question what I am doing or I question if Heavenly Father knows what he is doing...He does. I might think I know what I need preparing for, but I don't know all of the answers. I just need to have faith to get through this moment because I know he has something planned for me.

hair today, gone tomorrow

I am by no means a hair stylist but I sure do love cutting Troy's hair. He lets me do whatever I want. Troy's latest 'do is inspired by my cousin's little boy Wilson. Since I have no little boy to give a mohawk to... I improvise.

presenting Troy's mohawk....


I mean I don't think he delivers the same cuteness effect that Wilson does. It does however, suit him quite well.

I also had a very good hair day the other day. I took a picture of it just to document it. Usually whenever I try to curl my hair I look like the love child of Shirley Temple and Orphan Annie. I must have skipped the doing hair spurt during puberty. I've been practicing curling my hair during nap times. So forgive me but I'm just really impressed with myself.

I tried to curl my hair like this again today because troy and I are going on date. It's not as bad as love child but not nearly this good. Oh well.

random thoughts for today

1. I'm not sure I'll ever be a clutter free person. I'm trying to obtain this skill though.

2. How many times can a person introduce themselves to you before you can say "We've met, several times actually." And not be considered rude? We've been in our ward a year now and there is a lady at church who never remembers me. Last Sunday was either the 4th or 5th time she's asked "Are you new in our ward? I haven't seen you before." I actually really wanted to say to her "We've met. You've asked me to pray twice in sunday school. I've talked in church and I sing in ward choir with you." Alas, I refrained and gave her my name for the 4th or 5th time. To which she replied, "Oh ok. That maybe sounds familiar." Maybe? {sigh}.

3. I'm seriously rethinking this 10k thing. Seriously.

4. I love summer mornings.

5. My trainer kicks my trash and I love her for it.

6. I've read lots of parenting books {ok more like online articles} about not letting your baby get used to falling asleep in your arms too often. And I don't care. I love holding my daughter more than anything. I'd rather hold her too much than later regret not having enough of these moments.

7. I need someone to go jogging with in the morning around 8:30 or 9. Any takers?

8. I watch way too much tv.

9. Being a stay at home mom gets lonely sometimes.

10. I love my magic bullet! {Thanks, Kerstin!}

Isabel: 5 months

Dear Izzie,

What a crazy month it has been! As always you are bigger (you've started wearing your 9 months sized clothes and they're only just a little too long for you) and getting cuter by the second.

The first two weeks of this past month you decided that you were much too cool for your binky. You temporarily weaned yourself from it. I had a love/hate relationship with this moment. I loved that I wouldn't have to wean you from it myself. However I hated trying to find other less effective methods of soothing you. All you wanted to do was suck on something but your binky just wasn't cutting it. At this time you also decided that going to bed at 11-11:30pm, waking up for about 30 min to an hour at 3am, and then getting up for the day at 6:30am was the way to go. Did I mention that you also refused to nap during the day? The only way I could get you to fall asleep at night or for a short 30 min nap during the day was holding you until you screamed yourself asleep. It was a rough couple of weeks for us both. There were a few days where I put you in your crib with a toy and shut the door and I laid down for a quick power nap. Fortunately, that phase has passed us and we're back to our routine.

Despite that minor blip you have been an absolute joy! You love to play and laugh. You make the silliest noises and sometimes you are so loud I can't even hear your dad talking when he is sitting right next to me. You've tried solid foods (carrots and sweet potatoes) and you seem a little unsure about them. You preferred the carrots though. You've only had solids a few times though because I've decided to hold off on them for a bit.

You can roll from both your back to your tummy and your tummy to your back now. Except you're pretty lazy and you don't do it very often unless there is something you really want just out of reach. You're dad is probably you're favorite person. Whenever he walks in to the room you can't keep your attention on anything you're supposed to be doing (i.e. eating) you just stare and smile at him all the time. You love playing together and he can always get you to smile the biggest. You also have developed an affinity for water bottles. You're kind of obsessed with them actually. It all started the day you kept reaching for mine so I let you try a drink from it. I can't have a water bottle remotely near you without you trying to steal it. If you see one your face lights up and sometimes you say "Oooo!" just at the sight. You love to take sips from them and you've actually gotten pretty good at it for a 5 month old baby. You won't drink water if I put it in your bottle though. Like I said, you're obsessed with water bottles.

You've been around a few other babies your same age this month too. It's been fun to compare you and see what is baby and what is personality. You're such an observant little one. You don't like seeing too many new faces at once. You have to let everything soak in before you can be passed around. You don't give out smiles to strangers that's for sure. Instead you give them a cute little scowl. It's fine by me though. As long as I get to see your big sweet smiles.

We love you so much pretty girl!

Love, Mom.