Day 9: Today.... I will keep the TV turned off.
I actually surprised myself at how easy this task was. I watch at least some tv every day. Watching TV is how I unwind from long days, distract myself, entertain myself, etc... So when Thursday rolled around and I had no school and no work I thought "perfect day for no tv" the more challenging the better right?
I woke up and ate breakfast and read the newspaper. Then I resumed working on my final paper for my dietary supplements class. I got a HUGE chunk of that done. Amazing what one can do with fewer distractions. When my brain could no longer handle thinking/writing/reading anymore about green tea extract and caffeine's effect on weight loss I went and hung out with my great friend Lisa! She's pregnant too! in fact she's due only 2 weeks after I am. We chatted about pregnancy related things, husbands, friends, work, you name it I think we covered it. Before I knew it, it was 6pm and Troy was calling me asking where I was. When I got home Troy did have the TV on and I barely watched any of it. I tried my best to stick with "no tv" I read a book while Troy watched tv.
I felt really productive. And despite my brain needing a break I didn't need to tv to do that job. It's amazing what you can do when you don't let tv distract you.
Day 10: Today....I will be myself.
I feel like I'm myself 95% of my days. This might have been harder for me 3-4 years ago when I was still trying to figure out who I was. Believe me I literally went on a quest to find myself and it was a long, scary, exciting, weird, awesome quest and at the end is who I am now. I'm still discovering things about myself. I don't think the journey is ever truly over but I no longer feel the need to pretend I'm something I'm not to please someone else. It's not always easy.
On friday "being myself" apparently meant being my pregnant hormonal self. I cried and kept crying. I cried for no reason, which led me to more crying about being mad that I was crying for no reason and then I cried because I was embaressed at how hard I was crying in front of my husband for no apparent reason. Pretty sure Troy thought I was crazy. I felt crazy. I took my friend Mallory's advice when I told her what was happening, "being pregnant sucks. Just cry it out." So I did. I let myself be who I was at that moment. A pregnant, emotional, loon. I felt better.
Day 11: Today.... I will finish my paper.
Ok so this particular today wasn't on the list of stuff I'm going to give to the Lifeline kids. I made that one up for myself. I really really needed to finish my paper that is due on monday so that I could turn it into a powerpoint presentation that is also due on Monday. And even though it was Saturday and the holiday and there were about 5 kajillion other things I would have rather been doing... I finished my paper. And it feels great. I've been working on that stupid piece of crap for 3 weeks now! It has swallowed my life. My dietary supplements class is one of several graduate level classes I've had to take for my minor. While none of them have been terribly hard they have been incredibly time consuming. So believe me when I say this "today" was much needed.
You know sometimes I say things that I don't know if anyone listens, but I'm glad you listened to my advice. I'm glad someone listens sometimes. And you are right there are days you just have to cry it out. Not trying to cry about it only makes it worse. And I'll be the first to say being pregnant is no picnic and not something I want to do regularly.
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