My last post was over a year ago. And A LOT has happened in the last 18 months. I told myself that I was going to start a journal and that never happened. So in this rare moment of free time I have, I'm going to update you all but mostly journal for myself. This post could be long maybe not. We'll see how much i feel like typing… you've been warned.
The months between April - November were pretty uneventful. Other than I decided I needed a new job. I'd worked at the rec center for TEN YEARS and I needed a change of scenery. There was far too much catty-ness (is that a word?) and cliques and I was basically miserable. So I started job hunting. I basically had zero luck even landing an interview anywhere and was pretty discouraged. I decided to get my CNA because it always seemed I like there were open CNA jobs. So by the end of September I got my CNA. Then in October I had 3 job interviews and which got me 3 job offers all within about a week two of which were CNA positions. I ended up accepting the position that was non-CNA related. I started the beginning of November. I now work for CompHealth which is a staffing company for physicians. My title is assignment coordinator. Which is basically like an administrative assistant but with more unusual duties. It's good, I like it. It pays well and has nice benefits.
Being a full time working mom is probably the hardest thing I've ever done. I feel like I never get a break. I wake up every morning at 5:40 and have to get myself and izzie and ready and out the door by 6:45am. If izzie doesn't sleep well for some reason during the night it doesn't matter, I still have to work in the morning. Then I come home to my "second" job. My mom life. I know a lot of my friends tell me that at least I get a break from kids. Which is true. I do get a lot of adult time which is nice. But my job role is basically a babysitter to full grown men. I spend most of my day nagging adults to do their job. I come home make dinner and try to get house stuff done and spend time with my family all between the hours of 6:00 PM to 8:30 PM when bed time starts and I spend the next two hours constantly putting izzie back in bed because she has decided bed time is overrated. Most nights she doesn't go to bed until 11:00 PM. Don't get me wrong Troy is home too and he helps, it's just different. Being a working mom is not easy. Neither is being a stay at home mom. You just can't win guys, you just can't win.
In December, my life changed in so many ways. Since we finally had decent health insurance and Obamacare starting paying for yearly physicals, I told Troy it was time for his physical. He hadn't had one since before his LDS mission and he was now 28 years old. He was due. I didn't think anything of it. I'm just one of those people who think it's important to see the doctor every year. Troy is active and young and I was sure he was fine.
Troy went to the doctor and my whole life changed.
While at the doctor, Dr. Williams (who is the ABSOLUTE BEST DOCTOR IN THE WHOLE WORLD) heard a heart murmur and after asking Troy some questions thought it would be a good idea to do a quick in office EKG. Dr. Williams didn't feel comfortable with what he saw so he referred Troy to a cardiologist. After hearing all of this, I was definitely scared but told myself it would probably be nothing. Except I'm a worry wart so I kept thinking of all the terrible things it could be. Troy couldn't get in to see the cardiologist until January so we had a good blissful month of denial before my world stopped.
I went with Troy to the cardiologist. They told us Troy would have an echocardiogram done and a stress test. The echo was only supposed to take 15 minutes and then he would move on to the stress test. We both sat there chatting with the tech for a bit while she looked at his heart. Slowly I realized it had been over 40 minutes and the tech was getting less chatty. When she finally she told me that Troy wouldn't be doing the stress test and that the doctor had all he needed. And would meet with us shortly. That's when I knew things weren't looking good. And my stress level went from medium to high alert. We had a nurse come in, and a P.A. who both asked us questions and listened to troy's heart but didn't really say anything else to us. Everyone was so serious and every time someone left Troy and I would say to each other "There's something wrong. Why won't anyone tell us anything?"
Finally, the doctor came in and told us what we were thinking. There was something wrong with Troy's heart. He wouldn't give us an official diagnosis as the condition he thought Troy had wasn't his specialty so he wanted to send the echo to someone else to have them look at it. He also wanted Troy to have an MRI done. However, in the mean time he pretty much told Troy no strenuous activity as it could possibly lead to cardiac death. We left the office feeling pretty confused. No diagnosis. He might have something. He might die. AWESOME.
Troy scheduled the MRI but couldn't get in for a couple weeks. Another stressful yet blissful period of denial (I'm REALLY good at denial). After the MRI we patiently waited for results. We were told results would take about 5 days. On day two, Troy called me at work to tell me he just received a call from The Heart Failure Clinic at Intermountain Medical Center. They didn't tell him much-- I think he was in too much shock to ask any questions anyway. I told him he needed to call the cardiologist right away and find out his diagnosis. Troy called and the doctor confirmed Troy had Hypertrophic Obstructive Cardiomyopathy. There are two variations of the condition and Troy has the obstructive variation. If you read the link on Web Md it actually doesn't sound that scary but it's a pretty scary disease. Most people with HCM/ HOCM don't know they have it until its too late. Here's another article you can read about various young athlete's who have died from it. Basically Troy's left ventricle is too thick. His is actually 4 times bigger than it is supposed to be. Which is really really not good. It makes it hard for his heart to pump blood correctly and the electrical signals get all mixed up.
The day Troy called me to tell me the Heart Failure clinic called my world literally felt like it stopped. The one and only journal entry I have in my actual journal is from that day. I remember I kept thinking, I wish I could go back to yesterday when none of this was real. It was a really hard time for me. I spent most mornings and most evenings crying in my car to and from my way to work. I wanted to be strong for Troy so I only let myself cry when I was alone.
Later on in the process we learned Troy would need an internal defibrillator placed. It's just like one of those giant machines doctors use to shock your heart and yell "clear!" but much smaller and inside your body all of the time. It's kind of like pacemaker but his doesn't have pacemaking capabilities. It's only there if Troy's heart goes in to a dangerous rhythm ready to shock him back to life. Troy had that surgery on July 18th of this year. I was terrified. But he pulled through like a champ. I know it was really hard for him and did a small number on his pride. He will forever have this device in his chest. You can see the bulge on his rib cage just under his left arm if he isn't wearing his shirt. I'm so impressed with his courage through out this whole ordeal. It's been the craziest 10 months of my life.
In April (April Fools Day to be exact) we found out we were expecting baby #2. It wasn't a surprise but also wasn't exactly planned. I had been having bad reactions to birth control ever since I had Izzie. I had been off birth control for over a year so we knew getting pregnant was possible but we just tried to be careful. We were both pleasantly surprised that it took so long to get pregnant though since Izzie was a complete accident (we still love you Monkey!).
This pregnancy has been so different than with Izzie. I hadn't had a period in over 3 months (my body was seriously messed up, looking back it was probably just stress) I took a pregnancy test about once a month just to be sure I wasn't pregnant but since i hadn't had a period in so long I didn't really think I was pregnant.
One day while sitting at my desk I had the sudden urge to throw up. I thankfully didn't barf but thought it was kind of strange. Izzie ended up getting the 24 hour flu the next day so I thought maybe I just had the flu. But when my nausea didn't go away after a couple days… I decided to take a test. Sure enough I was pregnant.
I had no idea how far along I was since I hadn't had a period in over 3 months. I was hoping to be much further a long in my pregnancy. However when we got in to the see the doctor I only measured at 8 weeks. Which means I was about 5 weeks along when I found out. I basically spent weeks 5-14 with constant nausea but little actual throwing up. Which was nice not barfing as much but this time around the nausea never went away. It was always there. Up until about week 20 anything sweet made me sick which in a way was kind of great. However now… at week 28 all I want to eat is chocolate ALL THE DAY LONG and I usually don't deny myself. I'm going to be HUGE. This time my skin is clear and I have zero back acne. However, my pelvis constantly pops out of place and its really really really painful to walk or stand or lay down. The only time it pops back in place is completely on accident and i get a few nice hours of less discomfort.
We found out we are having a boy! And we are really excited! We are due around Thanksgiving of this year. Any and all boy hand me downs are completely appreciated ;)
Well that's as much as I feel like typing tonight. If you made it this far… congrats. Pat yourself on the back. Or scratch your eyes out. Either is fine with me.
